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The Sydney Fence
APEC 5-9 September 2007
Not since 1788 has such a dangerous bunch of Homo sapiens been sent to Sydney. In fact, the 21 hardened criminals presently locked up behind a 2.8-meter high, five-kilometer long fence clearly have much worse records than any of the small time, half-starved, pickpockets in the first fleet.

Amongst this new lot of undesirables are killers responsible for body counts rising into hundreds of thousands; others steal from the poor and powerless on a global scale; others sadly just seem to suffer from lack of equipment - commonly known as the small member syndrome; and worst of all, some are communists! Sentenced to hard labour, eventually they will all be sent to Western Australia to dig big holes in the ground, but before that happens, they must be restrained in a holding pen.

Luckily we have a government that cares about security, so the taxpayers of this country are more than happy to have spent $190 million dollars locking these illegal immigrants and their 5000 underlings up in a way they can understand - an impenetrable prison, a fence formidable. We have been assured by the authorities that none shall escape.

However, for the local population with a taste for style, an artefact of wonder has entered our consciousness. We must give thanks that our rulers have such aesthetic flare and imagination.

The Sydney Fence has been designed and elegantly crafted by our specialist fence artworkers. Do we notice a certain classical sense of proportion as the silver glitters through the evidently dull and uninteresting Botanical Gardens? A Dorian perspective at dawn, a touch of Phrygian in the evening air, perhaps?

But it is to the sonic wonders of the Sydney Fence that we must turn. A symphony of wondrous tones emanate forth when once its delicate metal strands are stroked by bow. Not by chance does this desirable musical instrument wend its way past the New South Wales Conservatorium of Music. One notices that under supervision of our vigilant police forces, Federal on the inside, State on the outside, a select number of professional musicians have taken great pleasure in performing on the Sydney Fence.

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